1.1. Bits and Pieces

 

A sign spotted in a bookstore:  “Outside of a dog man’s best friend is a book.  Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.”

 

The last time I checked the most common street name in the country was Second Street, and the second most common was Third Street and so on for several more numbers.  There are several common choices for the principal street, Main is probably the most common.  But Main Street must compete with Broad Street, Central Ave, and even First Ave. for downtown honors.  Thus, Second comes in first, for once.

 

In a recent post I asked people to mention their favorite words.  It seems for most people anything less than six syllables didn’t make the cut.

 

Recipe for Elephant Stew from Celia’s Rainbow Garden Cookbook serves 3800.

 And, now, a few adult one-liners.

 

“When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.” — Anon

 

“Sex relieves tension – love causes it.” — Woody Allen

 “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.” — P. J. O’Rourke 

“A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.” — Victor Lownes 

“My wife is a sex object – every time I ask for sex, she objects.” — Les Dawson 

ANNIE’S PSYCHIATRIST: Do you have sex often?

 

ALVY: Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.

 

ANNIE: Constantly! I’d say three times a week.

– Annie Hall (1977)

 

5 Responses to 1.1. Bits and Pieces

  1. Dave L says:

    Thanks for lightening my day and exercising my atrophying facials.

    I may borrow that which you have borrowed with identical intentions. There’s nothing funnier than sex, especially when absent … and even more so when absent from somebody else. I think that’s what older men share … the laugh, not the sex. (by the time women reach “old,” they have to go to the dictionary to discover what we are talking about.)

  2. karen wittgraf says:

    It’s “out of sight- out of mind” stuff. D H Lawrence was able to combine “dirty” sex with loving passion in “lady Chatterly” and it was banned from England and hidden in the U.S. People can’t handle their own inner thoughts and needs.

  3. Colleen Rae says:

    It just confirms that woman and men are so completely different! as a woman, especially their views on sex. I can’t believe there is such a thing as ‘dirty sex.’ I’m the same age as Robt Redford; now there’s a vital and sexy man! I feel just as vital and sexy!

  4. Colleen Rae says:

    I meant to insert ‘especially their views on sex’ after ‘different’. ‘As a woman’ goes in front of ‘I can’t believe’. I’ve been proofing my second novel all morning and I’m kind of dingy. Sorry for the confusion.

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