In a coffee shop, in a whistle stop, in a panhandle far from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, I met a guy by the name of Dave Barnes. We shared an electrical outlet for our Macs, and each pecked away for days with a few of the nods and grunts that pass for conversation between guys.
Eventually, we did talk. Dave was working on his fourth book and I was getting high on my blog while keeping an eye on my book lest it run off with my muse.
Eventually, Dave gave me one of his books, The 5 Minute Field Guide to Understanding Women. Available from Amazon.
108 pocket–size pages. Pocket-size. It is not for nothing he calls this a field guide. He wants you to have it handy and refer to it when you need to.
Barnes places the responsibility of relationship enhancement squarely on the shoulders of men. Women would do well to buy this book and read it for what they can learn about men. Then leave the book where their boy friend will find it.
P. 21 “Women want a more fulfilling relationship, but may not want to take the first step.”
P 24. Men derive basic self-esteem from their job., women from their family.
P. 28 For women, security in a relationship is the ultimate goal, and she is fully invested in the emotional relationship. It is the man’s job to make a woman feel special.
P. 31-35. Barnes discusses the seven things that attract women. Personal hygiene, Confidence, a Sense of humor, Decisiveness, Playfulness, Optimism, and Sensitivity.
P.36 Last, and perhaps least, Looks
P. 39-49. How to approach a woman. Mostly I agree with Dave’s tips. Tip #6 is practice, as in rehearse. When I was young, maybe I should have. At some point you’ve written your own playbook, and you can read the defensive backfield well enough to change the play at the line of scrimmage.
P. 47-53. Communicating with a woman. Dave says no Zapping (Duh), Fight Fair, and Listen. Men jump to solutions and can’t wait to get them out. I’ve learned that just listening may be the solution.
P. 55-57. The need for affection. Dave tells us sincerely saying those three little words—you know which ones I mean—will get you more attention and intimacy than anything you can do or buy.
P. 59. Small things make a difference. Don’t overlook the small opportunities to make a big impression. I’ve noticed foot massage rates pretty high—about even with emeralds.
P.63. Say you’re sorry. It’s about healing. No argument there, Dave. Thanks for the good advice on how to do it and how not to do it.
P 71 Commences the sexuality part of the programs. Dave includes a disclaimer that it may not be suitable for young children. Depending on your background, you may give it an R rating. I give it a PG-13.
P. 81. Foreplay. It is hard to improve on massage.
P. 85 Afterplay
P. 103 Surprise.